


Let Me Drown In Your Paperwork

by misura



Category: FAKE (Manga)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-07
Updated: 2012-08-07
Packaged: 2017-11-11 15:59:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/480276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gossip, idiocy and old files.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Me Drown In Your Paperwork

**Author's Note:**

  * For [opalmatrix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/opalmatrix/gifts).



"Say, are the two of you getting enough sex?" JJ asked, and that was the point when Ryo realized that maybe he had a problem - even if the problem was definitely _not_ a lack of sex, not that that was anyone else's concern.

And even if it wasn't really Ryo who had a problem.

"There's a quota for that?" Drake asked, and Ryo wished he could believe Drake saying 'that' instead of 'sex' might mean he had at least a little bit of shame.

Unfortunately, it was far more likely the story (or _a_ story) would be all through the precinct after lunch.

"I read they did a study about it in the newspaper," JJ said. "I clipped the article. Of course. Some people should really be more considerate of their partner's needs, don't you think?" And it was nice, really, the way JJ didn't seem to hate or even dislike Ryo for 'stealing' Dee anymore - like it was also nice how nobody seemed to think it was fundamentally wrong for two guys to be dating, but sometimes, Ryo felt it would have been easier to deal with some stupid prejudices instead of this ... whatever it was.

Drake considered for a moment, then decided that wasn't some sort of trick question. "Yes?"

Both of them were very carefully _not_ looking at Ryo. They might as well have been staring.

"I think I'm going to see how Dee's getting along with his paperwork."

"Oh, you guys divide it?" JJ asked, oozing innocent curiosity. "Sometimes thin forms are the trickiest, you know. You wouldn't think it to look at them, but I'm telling you: very tricky. Verrry time-consuming to fill them out."

"I'm sure they are," Ryo said, because saying that they 'divided' their paperwork by having Dee do all the moaning about it and Ryo the actual filling out and filing would have made him sound petty.

 

Dee was actually bent over some sort of form when Ryo came in, which made him feel slightly guilty for a moment.

"I come bearing coffee." He expected Dee to look up, possibly with a line about how he wanted some 'cream' to go with his coffee (as if Ryo was ever going to have sex with him in the office) or something like that, but instead Dee just mumbled something. It might have been a 'good', although it had sounded more like a 'huh'.

Ryo put down Dee's mug at a safe distance away from the stack of files, then grabbed a chair and sat down. 

Dee sighed. As far as plays for sympathy went, it wasn't much, but then again, Ryo had been reliably informed that he was (too) easy. "Everything all right?"

"No," Dee said, sounding tired and frustrated and not at all like he'd be perfectly happy to try and make himself feel better by either arguing with Ryo or having sex with him.

Ryo waited for Dee to elaborate, but Dee just went on working on the form - or staring and scowling at it, really, given the amount of writing that was going on.

"Anything I can do to help?" The words simply slipped out, really, and not from habit, either. Ryo had learned _that_ lesson months ago, and a good thing it had been, too.

"No."

Irrational, really, to feel annoyed at Dee _not_ jumping at a chance to foist the paperwork on Ryo.

"Would you like me to leave you alone?" Ryo asked, half-counting on another 'no', which would explain things: Dee was, for whatever reason, distracted to a point where he wasn't actually listening when people asked him things.

"Yes," Dee said.

Ryo went.

 

"That _does_ sound an awful lot like sexual frustration to me," JJ said the next morning, when Ryo, in a moment of weakness, had spilled the beans on Dee's uncharacteristic behavior.

"I offered." Clearly, the moment of weakness hadn't passed yet. "He wasn't interested."

Drake and JJ looked - well, Ryo supposed 'alarmed' was better than 'intrigued'. Slightly.

"He uh." JJ coughed. "Dee actually turned down sex?"

"Dee's turned down sex plenty of times," Drake said, looking thoughtful in a way that made Ryo want to protest that he and Dee were doing _fine_ ; they weren't breaking up or anything, it was just that Dee was a bit out of it.

JJ shook his head. "Not the same. I don't count." A moment. "Well, obviously I count, but - hm. Naw. So what happened, exactly?"

"Nothing happened," Ryo said. Maybe he was overreacting. Maybe Dee was just ... slowing down. Getting serious. Growing up.

Maybe Ryo should just back off, leave well enough alone. Give Dee some space to figure things out for himself, since clearly, Dee didn't want his help.

"Naked?" JJ asked.

"Sorry, what?"

"You were naked when this 'nothing' happened?"

Ryo felt himself flush. Drake coughed. JJ looked faintly apologetic.

"Well, whatever it is, I'm sure you will find a way work things out. I'm counting on you."

Which was all very good, but not particularly helpful.

 

Two hours later, Ryo considered if perhaps there had been something to JJ's advice after all. Not that it had quite been intended as advice, probably.

"Dee?"

No reaction. Ryo walked over to where Dee's mug was still standing, full of yesterday's cold coffee. The stack of files looked the same, although it was possible the forms had changed.

"Dee?" Ryo reached out and picked up the top folder. It looked like one of Dee's old cases - it'd been closed years ago, with a successful arrest and conviction.

"Someone kills an innocent woman, or sells drugs to kids, or robs a bank - and that's bad, right? People like that deserve to go to jail. But I make one goddamn mistake in the stupid report, and just like that, some scumbag lawyer says they should be allowed to walk. One tiny mistake!"

_Oh._ Probably not the best time to point out that yes, paperwork was important. And Dee was right, in a sense: it wasn't fair. It was the way the system worked, though.

"So this is - what? You checking all of your previous reports?" Ryo tried not to smile.

"I'm not that crazy." Dee scowled. "Wouldn't work, anyway. No, I'm just digging for something else to pin on him. I mean, we went after him for this one thing because we thought we had a solid case - a sure thing. Now that _that_ 's fallen through ... "

"And you didn't want to ask me to help because - why?"

Dee looked away. "Look," he said. "I know you hate it that I always make you do most of the paperwork, but this is why, all right? I'm bad at it, and then stuff like this happens."

Ryo snorted. "Nice try." Dee's head snapped back. "Dee, we're partners. We do it together, and when things go wrong, we fix them together. That's how it works."

"But - "

"You screwed up," Ryo said bluntly. "You screwed up, and for two days, I felt awful because _you wouldn't talk to me_. That's two days I could have spent helping you instead."

Dee blinked. " _You_ felt awful?"

"Half the precinct thinks we're breaking up and the other half thinks we're not having enough sex or something like that." Not that Ryo cared, but - well, maybe he did, just a little.

"Oh," Dee said in a small voice that made Ryo want to hug him, but then he said: "Oh!" again, in an entirely different tone. "I know a perfect way to set them both straight."

It was good to see the old Dee back, in a way. In another way:

"No, I don't think so. Now, let's get to work."

 

_epilogue_

"I can't believe you actually had sex in the office," JJ said. "Honestly, Ryo, you've got a lot more guts than I thought."

Drake nodded. Dee casually reached for a newspaper. Ryo snatched it up and threw it at him.

"We didn't have sex at the office. Believe me."

"I'd deny it, too," Drake said.

JJ made a dismissive gesture. "Yes, but you can trust us, Ryo. We wouldn't tell anyone. I mean, we're friends, right? And Dee looks super happy today, so it's obvious something happened."

 

("If you think I will do it just because everyone already thinks we did it, you're sorely mistaken," Ryo said. "Hand me the stapler, will you?")

("Why not? Sounds perfectly logical to me.")


End file.
